Superman IV (1987) | The Quest for a Train-wreck's Silver Age Heart

Introduction

And now here we are at the most despised all of Superman films. This film was raked across the coals upon its release and to this day is seen as the most insulting, most infuriating, and worst film in the franchise, and as one of the worst comic book films ever made. It's placed right along with Steel, Catwoman, and most aptly, Batman and Robin.

But on that note, you may have noticed Batman and Robin becoming a bit of cult classic in the past few years. Starting as simple "so bad it's good" enjoyment, there's a strange following that film has for being pure cheesy Silver Age bonkers madness not unlike the Adam West show, The Brave and the Bold, and Lego Batman. I don't really feel that. Not to spoil that eventual review, but I find the humor in B&R lacking compared to Batman 66 and TBATB and Lego Batman, I find it a little on the dull side, and most relevantly, I think it's way too polished to have that appeal. Batman 66 is a product of its time, a low budget TV show. B&R looks about as visually good as the first three "serious" Batman films in its franchise. As such, it's style, tone, and script all feel mismatched. No, how people nowadays feel about B&R is how I feel about this film.

Because unlike B&R, this film actually does have absolutely no budget, and cheap green-screen effects, and a ridiculous plot that isn't even trying to be dramatic, and ugly set design. This is MY "so bad it's kind of amazing" Silver Age schlock film. If Superman III is annoying and abrasive, this film is entertaining and insane. So hopefully I'm able to explain why I find such enjoyment of this film. This is Superman IV: The Quest For Peace.

Production

After Superman III's disappointing critical reception and the financial bombing of Supergirl, the Salkinds ultimately decided to get out of the superhero gig. So they sold off the rights to the films to Golan and Globus at Cannon Films, known for taking money from projects and spreading it to tons of different projects entirely. Yep, great people to handle a big budget effects-driven movie right?!

Christopher Reeve pitched a story about the nuclear arms race to the producers, and soon they hired Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal to write the script. Sidney J. Furie, an acclaimed director of spy thrillers and action films, was chosen to helm as director (After a previously unsuccessful attempt with Wes Craven). Things seemed like the Superman franchise could be on the verge of a resurgence.

Then everything went downhill. Simply put, the budget hamstringed this film. The writers didn't care enough to write a good script, shooting was a massive disaster, and Reeve and Furie were constantly going to Cannon to fight for more money. Reeve straight up told Jon Cryer that the film was going to be terrible before release.

To add insult to injury, a failed test screening led to 45 minutes being cut from the film to obtain a smaller 90 minute runtime, making it the shortest Superman film ever released, though those 45 minutes have become something of a legend. Either way, the film released to a disastrous reception both critically and commercially, being seen at the time as potentially causing the death of comic book films.

Is it really that bad? Well, let's take a look.

Superman IV Review

The film opens with, I swear, the laziest opening credits sequence I've ever seen. "Yeah just take the most basic font possible and swoop it around mostly static backgrounds". It's mercifully short at least, but still. The space version of the Superman III credits looks better ffs. Anywho, we then actually get into the movie. There's a Russian satellite orbiting the Earth, with one of the astronauts working on it singing. Some space junk comes hurdling his way, leaving him adrift in space and the ship off course. Superman shows up with a really bad tracking shot that gets overused over and over again. He brings them back and (in fluent Russian) greets the men. Where do I start? This opening is poorly shot, cheap as hell, has Superman talk in the vacuum of space, and has all-American Superman speak fluent Russian in 1987 at the height of the Cold War. And honestly? I kind of love it. It sets the tone immediately that this will be a campy B-movie filled with just stupid stuff on top of stupid stuff. The Kryptonians talking on the moon in Superman II bothered me because the Donner films were so sincere and epic. Here talking in space fits right in with the dumb Silver Age trash.

We then see Clark selling off the farm in Smallville (Remember his mom croaked before III? Yeah that was dumb). And oh man it looks bad in this film. Like, really bad. He goes to the barn where his pod was, and finds a green crys- wait, didn't he use that to make the Fortress? Well apparently this is a DIFFERENT green crystal with a completely never-before heard message from Lara telling of how the crystal's "power" (Unexplained of course) can only be used once. The ship disappears and he begins talking to the guy who wants to buy the farm as part of some big development. We get honestly a pretty nice recollection of Johnathan Kent before a... baseball match? Clark gives, again, a good line about never forgetting where he comes from. In fact, that's something I'll admittedly give this movie. Reeve seems more comfortable here than in III, even though he notoriously fought with the producers on this film.

Sadly the praise doesn't continue. We then see Lex Luthor working and whistling some Mozart. Yeah, they just decided to bring back Hackman's Luthor who gives some exposition about "creating Life". Some really, really stupid guards go chasing a car driven by... Lenny Luthor. Jon Cryer's character in this movie is so annoying that it took becoming Lex Luthor HIMSELF in Supergirl for me to finally forgive him for this. He is one of the only things in this movie I don't at least like ironically. So he crashes the guards away and frees Lex so they can "destroy Superman".

Ah back to Clark as we engage in a wacky action scene where the subway conductor falls ill. Oh and Lois Lane just happens to be in the subway. Yeah, Kidder isn't very good in this film. I honestly wouldn't have minded seeing Lana return, she was one of the two things I actually liked in the last film. Oh well. He saves everyone of course (Using the SAME tracking shot again. In fact, to avoid whining about it too much, I'll just start a count. Tracking shot count: 2), and leaves via an absolutely awful blue screen effect. Next, we find out Daily Planet has been bought out by a sleazy businessman who prioritizes money over news. Now I'd make a Rupert Murdoch joke, but everyone's already done that. The weird thing is, the film doesn't really delve into this as a social commentary aspect. Dare I say it, but this entire subplot brings nothing of value to the film. And Lacy Warfield is not a good character, more on that as we go. Oh and we get a really bad scene of Lois being like "I don't think Clark would be attracted to someone like you". Yep, an independent fierce journalist reduced to cattiness. Okay this all sounds like really bad, I swear it will go back to enjoyably ridiculous before you know it.

Finally the film's actual plot starts. The summit between America and the USSR fails, and so they decide to go all "expand nuclear arms". Which... I'll save that to my "complain later" folder. Anywho we quickly cut to kids watching that news and one saying they should write to Superman and then immediately cut away (That cut 45 minutes is really starting to show...). We see how one strand of Superman's hair can suspend a heavy weight. Lex Luthor then easily cuts the hair with hedge clippers (Lol), and he talks about creating a being with a ton of nuclear power (Or as Hackman says "nuculor"). We then again quickly cut back to the Planet where Lacy poses all sexy on her desk when Clark comes in because she's apparently just instantly in love with him (God forbid there be a female character in this franchise who doesn't want to bone Clark?). Lacy is... a prop. She's not a character, she's a prop. Anywho in the middle of their flirting Lois walks in with a letter to Superman about the crisis. In one of Clark Kent's best scenes, he becomes Superman when reading the letter. His voice, stature, everything becomes Superman. Lacy then immediately decides to profit from that, and then we just sort of fast-forward to Jeremy (the kid from earlier, he wrote the latter) going to Metropolis and meeting not-Rupert Murdoch. He's then put in front of a mic and they spin his statements to make Superman out as the bad guy.

This is what I meant when I said this film gets enjoyably dumb again. Even down to an Adam West spinning transition. But moving on, Clark goes to visit the "Elders of Krypton" in the... Fortress. Wait a minute, he blew up the Fortress in Superman II didn't he? After the deus ex machina green crystal got used. Okay then. They talk about how he's "forbidden to interfere" (Which comes across like the "meddling" speeches in Kingdom Hearts in terms of "but what the hell has he been doing the last 20 times?" logic). We get a pretty good line that "putting faith in one man alone is teaching the Earth to be betrayed" (Which can be taken as a sleek crack at dictatorship), but that's ruined by an ominous echo of the last word. Then we see Lois barge in on Clark as he's deep in reflective thought at his apartment. Then he walks her off the balcony! Oh this scene is so ingeniously dumb and honestly terrifying. I love the weak "things aren't that bad" almost as if Lois isn't surprised that Clark is trying to commit a murder-suicide of her.

After a falling sequence that's so bad 1990 Captain America is laughing at this, Clark reveals his identity by catching Lois. They then ripoff the flying scene from the first movie (Negatives including terrible effects and no magic, positives including no musical number!). It's so awful, so poorly shot, with such cheap effects that I can't help but love its B-movie appeal. Then Clark talks about how he doesn't know what he's supposed to do and in a flashback to Clark's hubris from the first two films, he remarks how unfair it is that he has to choose loving humanity over loving Lois. I like that part. Then it's immediately followed by him erasing her memory by kissing he- OH DAMMIT LESTER I THOUGHT WE GOT RID OF YOU! Ahem. Moving on. She tells Clark to "go with his gut" (Advice the actors clearly didn't take).

Superman and Jimmy go on a walk with Jeremy towards the U.N. building where we get the most ridiculous, idiotic, brilliantly DUMB scene in any Superman film. Superman declares before the entire United Nations his plan to rid the world of all nuclear weapons... TO THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE. The complete disregard of logic, the political stance being hugely impractically (Mutually Assured Destruction...), and the fact that the entire world cheers him on bringing up the question "Why didn't they do that in the first place?"... it's kind of beautiful. It's hilarious. It's pure, refined, amazing garbage. It's... Silver Age Superman summed up in a scene. So he gets rid of all the missiles (Tracking Shot Count: 3). Then Lex gives us some horrible exposition and we now get the plan. To, using the sun and nukes tossed into space, create a being born from pure nuclear energy and Luthor and Superman's genetic material. Who is also born with clothes and long nails and hair of course. Indeed, Nuclear Man is born once Superman tosses one more missile into the sun. There's also a really bland sequence with Lex launching the missile, but I honestly forgot about it. It gets in the way of the enjoyably dumb stuff. And thus we are finally introduced to Nuclear Man via more terrible effects.

Back to more dumb, Clark is doing yoga with Lacy. And here's where we get an issue, how fast things are moving. You see, in the original cut there was a whole subplot where Lex creating a Bizarro-like character Nuclear Man I to fight Superman at a club, which happened. Afterwards Lex would create Nuclear Man II, the Nuclear Man we actually got. I truly believe this subplot was meant to expand out this section of the film with more breathing room. Including a truly rushed romance with Lacy. Then Lex meets Nuclear Man II (Again, 1 was cut out). And it's every bit as insane as you'd expect. Lex practically orgasming at the sight of the thing, lighting a cigar on his hand, and of course, Nuclear Man II having Lex's voice. Nuclear Man II declares himself greater than Lex, but that's hurt by how he's useless without direct sunlight. Also more Lenny being awful.

Then more DUMB! Lacy and Lois prepare for a double date with Clark and Superman. Also Lois and Lacy are apparently best pals now? Clark subverts this all by being clumsy and occasionally nearly burning the apartment down. The funniest thing IMO is how douchey Clark is coming off by chatting up Lois and Lacy both. Then Lex uses his trick from Superman 1 to contact Superman. I love Reeve's expression because it perfectly encapsulates a "Oh crap, he's back" reaction. Reeve is just so fed up with Hackman's BS at this point, I'm convinced. Clark leaves off to meet Lex, and he is introduced to Nuclear Man who wants nothing except Superman's destruction. And credit, Lex's motivation is not land. Rather, he wants to run the war economy itself. Meaning he's... LIQUID OCELOT! OH IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! That's why Hackman's so crazy, he's been trying to fool the Patriots all along! I did it, I cracked the code everyone!

We then get a truly awful action sequence of Nuclear Man just... destroying crap for no reason and Superman pulling totally unseen powers out of nowhere to fix them. They then fight in space. Nuclear Man then causes a volcano to erupt. Superman saves everyone. Also you'll notice I haven't mentioned the score for a while yet. That's because it's pretty forgettable. But we do get a nice remix of the classic theme here. Not quite Ken Thawne's arrangement, but in a similar vein. More fighting in space! And Nuclear Man has the most dangerous weapons of all: LONG NAILS! We make it to Tracking Shot Count 4 as Nuclear Man rips the Statue of Liberty away and Superman gives chase. Nuclear Man eventually drops it on the city, and Superman narrowly catches it with Tracking Shot Count 5. Nuclear Man uses this chance to... scratch Superman. It causes Clark a great sickness. His powers fail him.

The Rupert Murdoch stand-in acts sexist and dumb, Lacy tells him to "Stuff It" when he asks her to fire Clark. Lois then visits Clark, who is overcome with great sickness. Lois breaks down over her love for Superman and how she fears for him. It's the one scene Margot Kidder actually sells in this film. And here, in this scene. We see it. Superman IV is garbage, and campy, and ridiculous, and dumb, and every negative thing I've thrown at Superman III and the Lester Cut of II. But there is one thing it does have that those lacked, one thing that does manage to rise from the ashes of the Donner Film. Heart. Superman IV has a Silver Age Heart that doesn't for one second in the film stop beating, and it empowers Reeve and his interactions. It makes this movie have a charm that other bad CBMs don't. Batman and Robin is irritating. This film isn't. It's awful, but there's an emotional underbelly that makes the awfulness enjoyable, and the few good moments stand out more. It makes the film worth watching for me. Dare I say this film has infinitely more heart than the next one. And given the entire point of the next one is to be super emotional and heartfelt, that's a damn shame.

Lex takes control of the nuclear business from the Patrio- I mean the Russians he's working with (A hugely underdeveloped subplot). Lex talks about being President (Which aged well given he became President in the comics). Clark, now aging rapidly, find the Deus Ex Machina crystal and in, again, a heartfelt scene he takes the power, firmly establishing he has transcended Krypton and now is fully of Earth. But enough genuine stuff, BACK TO DUMB! Nuclear Man suddenly falls in love with Lacy from a picture (I'd make fun of that, but now that I think about it I already did in The Terminator review). Superman suddenly anticipates this and shows up out of nowhere. Nuclear Man just starts wrecking crap, and we get Reeve trying to emulate the famous Superman II "No, don't do it! The people!" shout. But it comes off like a slightly agitated Jeff Goldblum. More campy hijinks ensues, as well as more bad effects. Clark traps him in an elevator and takes him to space, dropping it on the moon. Think the dumb stops there? You're wrong, the dumb keeps going.

A sliver of light gets into the elevator, bringing Nuclear Man back to full power. A horribly slow fight takes place after a cheesy American Flag set-piece (Cause... MURICA!). I swear every scene in Superman III had "better" choreography, but this is just so entertainingly awful that I can't help but love it more. Nuclear Man tosses Superman into a hole and buries him and then goes back to Earth to get Lacy. He takes her when she's arguing with her father (Rupert Murdoch), and carries her TO SPACE. With no suit. And she is of course PERFECTLY FINE. Oh the dumb. The dumb. Superman pushes the moon in front of the sun (Hello tidal chaos!), and Superman catches Lacy (IN SPACE) and brings her back to Earth. Superman then drops Nuclear Man into a reactor, killing him (Bringing this Superman's kill count to 3 so far! He's killed Zod, Evil Superman, and now Nuclear Man).

Anywho, the Daily Planet is restored and Perry White returns to give a "Journalism hell yeah!" speech. As well, Perry White apparently BOUGHT ALL THE SHARES. Perry White is now a rich tycoon. I kind of friggin' love that. Superman then gives a BS speech to the world about how "When we want peace enough, we'll have it" and how the Earth is more beautiful than we can see. Superman then gets the Luthors and takes Lenny to a place for troubled boys and Lex back to prison (Saying "I'll see you in 20". Strangely accurate, Returns was 19 years later). We get the traditional end as Superman smiles into the camera, ending Superman IV: The Quest For Peace.

Conclusion

Don't get me wrong. This film is atrocious. If you're looking for an epic good Superman film, you won't find it here. This film is absolute garbage. But as far as garbage goes, it's so gloriously dumb refined garbage that I can't help but love it on that Silver Age Schlock level. It's like an even cheaper Adam West Batman, except it doesn't even know it's Adam West Batman. If Superman III was the dull, irritating part of the Silver Age era comics, Superman IV is the over-the-top insane part of those comics. It's one of the funniest CBMs ever made because of that.

But what intrigues me most is what's underneath that garbage. That being, how much genuine heart there is buried under it. There are good emotional scenes, all sold by Reeve's performance. Dare I say it has some of the best emotional moments with Reeve, the same way III had some of the best down-to-Earth moments with Reeve. In finding that heart in this movie, I think it's finally clicked with me why so many people love Silver Age Superman, to the point of outright rejecting Post-Crisis and more serious versions. There is a charm to it. Would I take that charm to the sincere conflicted drama of Post-Crisis stuff and Man of Steel? Hell no. I'm still probably not gonna watch this film for a long time. It's ironically pretty great, but there are plenty of CBMs that are legitimately pretty great. Though, there are tons of CBMs that aren't great on any level too.

For me, this is my guilty pleasure of this franchise. Balancing how garbage it is with how entertaining it is, I give Superman IV a 5/10. Perfectly split down the middle. I say give it a shot, and see if this is the right kind of dumb for you.

Sadly, enjoyable dumbness disappears for the next one. It's time for that film. So get your pillows and blankets, it's gonna be a great time to catch a nap! Next time we tackle Superman Returns.